


This revolutionary body will now come to order

by sistabro



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: spn_las, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-02
Updated: 2011-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sistabro/pseuds/sistabro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy is finding it awful crowded in here all of a sudden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This revolutionary body will now come to order

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the crackfic prompt at [](http://spn-las.livejournal.com/profile)[**spn_las**](http://spn-las.livejournal.com/), which has since been deleted. Unbetad and written well before season 7 started, so AU. Also, I will admit I've never read Lovecraft so it's probably all wrong.
> 
> Also, [emberal_embers](http://emerald_embers.livejournal.com/) made a [podfic!](http://amplificathon.livejournal.com/1404797.html)

Jimmy once told Dean that being a vessel was like being chained to a comet. It's a fair anology. Wherever it is Castiel has locked him away, it is very, very bright and there is this odd, incessant rushing sound, like wind through a car window on the freeway or the sound at the center of tornado turned down to a quarter volume.

Mostly it was lonely, like the Little Prince on his asteroid before his rose bloomed. Except, Jimmy's roses have all been stolen from him and he can't just fly away.

Awful as that was, it was far preferable to the current situation. Since fucking Castiel decided to invite all of purgatory inside, it's more like being in the most crowded mosh pit imaginable. One were the majority of the occupants have really questionable hygiene practices, extra appendages, and are furious to boot.

Take Cthulhu for example. It's occupying most of the left foot (which, given that _all_ of purgatory is crammed in here, should give some perspective on its size) and is trying to reactivate and angel proof the athlete's foot Jimmy picked up the one time he forgot to bring his flip flops to the gym. Jimmy's pretty sure Cthulhu just wants to make Castiel suffer for the indignity of being stuffed into a foot and is working with what it has access to. But, at the same time, angel proof athlete's foot roughly translates to an unstoppable, ravenous fungus that could--in a burning, itchy sort of way--destroy the world. At the very least, if Cthulhu even partly succeeds, Jimmy's probably looking to lose a couple toes. And Jimmy is really very attached to all of his toes, even if he hasn't been able to wiggle them in years.

Cthulhu's not the only one attempting to sabotage Castiel via Jimmy's body, either. Nyarlathotep started out in his right shoulder and has been steadily shoving his way through the crowd towards his dick for reasons that he really wish Nyarlethotep would stop shouting about because they don't bear thinking about.

Reasons which do, however, serve as powerful motivation to fix this sooner rather than later. The problem being that Jimmy doesn't have a clue how. What he does have though, is faith.

Funny how that works. He remembers not being able to say grace over that last meal with his family. Remembers how the very idea of thanking God for anything, even the miracle of that brief reunion, drove him to tears. But he's died twice now--the second time via demolecularization no less--and it's either have faith that God has some greater purpose for keeping him in this hot, white, lonely hell or go mad.

And as horrific as the current situation inside of Jimmy's body is, he can't help but feel a little bit joyful too. The others can hear, sometimes, what is happening outside, and gossip spreads fast in such close quarters. Castiel has proclaimed himself God, they say, and for the first time in years, Jimmy feels something more than apathy: righteous fury. _Thou shalt have no other gods before me._ That is the first commandment of God to his people and Jimmy will not allow Castiel to break that covenant using _his body and his face._ No. Not so long as there is even the tiniest possibility that Jimmy can end the blasphemy that Castiel has made of them both. The question, of course, is how, and trying to answer it nearly drives him to despair.

It takes Jimmy a week of feeling Nyarlathotep creep ever closer to his junk before he remembers that God is not so cruel as to set before him an impossible task. For while the ability to think a way out of this is beyond him, what Jimmy can do is facilitate. He was the most productive and successful class president his large, all boys, Catholic high school had ever seen. And if he can get horny high school boys to throw a charity gala at the local senior citizens center because Nanna Novak asked him to, getting highly motivated ancient beings to figure out how to bring down Castiel is going to be a cake walk.

Jimmy's actually looking forward to it a little. He always was a big fan of Robert's Rules of Order.


End file.
